i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
