so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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