I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
