Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
