halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
