3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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