yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
