why didn't you poke me back
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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