R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
