would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
honey bunches of taint.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
