super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
