Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
