yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
