just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
