I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
