Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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