My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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