I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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