I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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