Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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