i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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