I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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