Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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