I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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