Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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