I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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