Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
