first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
