He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
