You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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