windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
