May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
