Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
