i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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