Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
tell me about the eggs
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
