her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
