weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
