My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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