I'll bet she douches with gravy.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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