he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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