Where is the hickey?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
