my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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