I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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