none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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