i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
