I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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