If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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