There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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