mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
