Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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